Saturday, July 7, 2007

The past 1 over month.. My musings.. ( A letter to myself )

Went thru' alot for the past 1 over month already..

After so much has happened.. after all the crap I've been thru'..

I've finally made up my mind to change my lifestyle, which is the one I had been having for the past 1 over month.. :p

( Of course, there were personal reasons I got myself into that kind of lifestyle.. )

There is definitely much more to life than just drinking; smoking; pubbing; clubbing all the time, almost every night, just to occupy one's time, to prevent loneliness, to avoid feeling the emptiness, to prevent from going / staying home, thinking too much..

At the end of everything, we still wake up in the morning still feeling empty & maybe even more emptiness & feeling even worse than before.. ( hangovers, regrets etc.. )

Back to cruel reality & life.. even though the activities the night before, could temporarily "fill" up the "gap", by allowing one to forget our problems temporarily the night before..

However, all these ain't gonna solve all the problems, stress, loneliness & emptiness in life that night, or the next morning, or forever..

I've had enough of this kind of lifestyle!

I've made up my mind & decision to change it!

It's been 1 over month & I've had enough of all the drinking.. smoking.. pubbing.. clubbing.. headaches.. heartaches.. crying.. getting so drunk that I had to puke all my guts out.. losing my voice & getting my throat inflamed from so much drinking.. so drunk I needed my friends to come & send me home..

I've had enough! Enough is enough, Grace! Wake up!

There is definitely so much more to life than waste it away this way!

There are so many people, friends & loved ones of yours out there who really love you, care for you, concern for you, watching over you!

Stop wasting your life, health, time & effort on those who don't even care a damn about you, deserve you, your love, your tears & all you've ever done for them!


Grace! Be Strong! As you always were & used to be & still is!

Get on! Move it! Move on in life!

There is so much more to be done ahead!

You've already wasted so much time wallowing in your sorrows, self-pity, regrets & stupid mistakes for the past 1 over month already!

It's time to pick yourself up from now on & move on to greater things you can do ahead!

Nobody's gonna be able to do it but it's me myself who have to stand up to everything & be strong!

To learn to love & respect myself, for others to respect me!

I've had enough! Now it's time for the strong Grace to be back!

Be the woman I used to be!

The Grace men & women used to adore, respect & look up to!

I can do it! I know I can!

Cos' I'm so over it! :)


Yours truly,
Grace Tan